Presidents, Condiments, and Arguments

The third day of our trip was crowded with activities in two different states, and three major cities. Thank the food gods that we were able to start the day off right; and full. Our second stop on the D3 tour landed us in a restored, world war II quonset hut in Springfield, Illinois.

Charlie Parkers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpFxI1JIqmA) was a local hangout, with scattered vintage, neon signage, and a predominantly doo-wop decor. When we entered, a few locals gave us curious stares, then went back to their conversations. The food was obviously far too delicious to be bothered with a few outsiders. We ordered as quickly as possible, already knowing what we had come for: Horseshoes.

. This little dish of heaven was built from the plate up: two pieces of texas toast, three over-light eggs, bacon strips, homemade cheese sauce AND sausage gravy, finished off with an order of hashbrowns. We know this sounds like a slop of grossness, to rich to finish, but it was quite the opposite. It was surprisingly light, even with the double sauces. Jojo and I inhaled it in less than five minutes. Our waitress, who had come back to the table to ask how everything was, stood with a look of bewilderment, staring down at the empty plate that she had just dropped off full of food.

Jojo and I were both in agreement: this was the single greatest breakfast we had ever eaten. FIVE BURPS! But that still wasn't a high enough rating. I burped half the ABCs on our way out. We love you Charlie Parkers. We WILL meet again some day.

The portrait of manhood

"A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half slave and half free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved -- I do not expect the house to fall -- but I do expect it will cease to be divided. It will become all one thing or all the other."

- Abraham Lincoln

With full stomachs, Jojo and I decided to pay our tributes to one of the greatest men ever to lead this country: Honest Abe Lincoln. When we arrived at the Lincoln Home National Historic Site, we were shocked to see, not only Lincoln's family home preserved in its original state, but his entire neighborhood. We walked the old, dusty, dirt streets, trying to imagine what it must have been like to be Lincoln's neighbors; to know him in the private sphere of his life; to see if a great president lived great, outside of the political spotlight. We booked a tour of his home and waited impatiently for it to begin. Once inside, we were informed that almost all of the furnishings were completely original. My imagination was doing cartwheels.

We walked up the stairs, gripping the same banister that Lincoln's hands once grasped, as we proceeded to his bedroom. Our tour guide noted that the writing desk in the corner of his room was where he would often write his speeches. To think, we were standing in the very room where Lincoln once sat, penning the famous, "House Divided" speech; Where he penned the foundations of the single, most polarizing decision in America's young political history, not because he thought it would win him votes, but because he knew, in his heart, that it was the Right thing to do…. for the good of his country…. not for the good of Abraham. Standing in that room, one couldn't help but think that this country needs more leaders, in All facets of government, with character similar to Lincoln's; people with convictions, and the courage to stand behind them with consistency; regardless of the consequence or popular opinion; painting the portrait of American manhood.

On our way out of town, we stopped by Lincoln's tomb. We were the only visitors present.

By the time we had gotten on the road again, it was just about noon. Still full from breakfast, Jojo and i skipped lunch and headed southwest towards St. Louis. On the way, Jojo wanted to take a little detour to Collinsville, Illinois. It was the home of the World's Largest Catsup Bottle. This was Jojo's shining moment. whenever we discussed the details of this trip, she always seemed to get most excited for the strange, road-side oddities, which many American travelers consider to be the trademark of cross-country journeys. When the bottle came in to view, we both started laughing uncontrollably. It was exactly what its name describes it as: a huge bottle of catsup. Fixed high in the air as if it were a water tower, a good picture was an easy thing to take. Also adding to our laughter were a handful of other tourists doing exactly the same thing as us. We had seen enough. It was off to St. Louis.

The Gateway Arch was able to be seen almost as soon as we left Collinsville. With every mile, the Arch grew larger and larger. It grew so large, in fact, that I began having second thoughts about going up in the Arch tram to the top observation deck. I just did't understand how the Arch was structurally sound. It seemed to sway in the breeze. This hesitation turned us off to St. Loius. As Jojo went sprinting inside with the excitement of a four year old in a toy store, I made myself comfortable on a bench outside, where we had agreed to meet after she was finished inside.

As soon as I saw her enter the building, I had a change of heart; if the Arch fell with me inside, it would be one hell of a story. I quickly followed after her, but once I cleared a security checkpoint, Jojo was nowhere to be found. Assuming she had made it onto a tram car and was headed up the south leg of the Arch, I tried to do the same. I forgot though, that I had given her my wallet so she could purchase her ticket, and I had to settle for a cozy bench by the exit instead. Little did I know that Jojo, having been told about the forty-five minute wait, had decided against going up, and instead, was heading outside to find me.

For an hour, we sat alone at our respective locations, waiting for each other, gaining anger by the second. I thought she was taking her sweet old time taking pictures, and she thought i had posted up at a bar…. or had gotten kidnapped… or sold into sex slavery… or worse. The absence of Jojo's cell phone made the experience JUST A LITTLE MORE ENJOYABLE! We did our little dance for an hour; Jojo searching FRANTICLY, and me sitting in anger. Finally, an Arch employee cleared the air with a single phone call:

"Mr. Cooper? I have a Joanna here looking for you."

"Send her down to the South Tram."

"She would rather you come up, to the North entrance."

We had been in the car together for far, far to long. Our reunion was a heated one, and we decided to take it to the car, where we could cool off on the five hour drive to our hotel in Kansas City. The Jim Gaffigan stand-up cd came on the cd player, and a tornado-like storm

appeared on the horizon. Things were looking up.